Walking the Messy Road to Tolerance
I walked through the carcasses, their bodies flowing in the wind. The remnants of my garden were in tatters. I knelt by the crunchy remains, each one taut when I held it. Dry, bare, destroyed. The Texas freeze killed almost every plant. And then, I looked up at the tulip magnolias, laughing, their pink flowers in bloom. Well, something survived.
After every new calamity, we contemplate and soothe ourselves, “It could have been so much worse.” Ladies and Gentlemen, congratulations, you’ve been in the Universe’s Learn Tolerance Class, for over a year now. Don’t remember signing up for it? Doesn’t matter. Here we are! Through 2020 and into 2021, learning tolerance, the hard way, that’s what we’ve been doing.
It’s not a do-it-at-your-own pace type of learning; it’s being thrown from the frying pan-to-the-fire type of learning. And this type of learning makes you wiser to all the things that you haven’t thought of yet while you are going through them. It makes you acknowledge that the universe is always teaching us things whether we like it or not.
And in this type of learning, we gain wisdom from having gone through the experience. As I’ve written in my piece in the Corona Silver Linings Anthology, our natural way is usually to go “kicking and screaming.” But eventually, we tolerate the shifts because, frankly, we don’t have a choice.
The Secret Key to Tolerance
We could have begged people to travel less and spend more time at home with their families. We could have shown them study after study how such an approach would have benefited everyone, but nothing would have changed. But as a result of this pandemic, it did. Learning tolerance is easiest when we don’t have a choice… and we are forced to accept our fate.
Now, more and more, in the face of everyday situations, whether they are climate-driven, politics-driven, or some other outside-of-you-driven cause, we are learning, every day, to become more accepting.
Tolerance is a form of acceptance. It’s accepting things that we don’t like. And as much as we may have encountered them in the past, the universe seems to be telling us there is more to come. And we have to be ready for it. Despite our protests (either in private or in public), change is happening, and it’s not asking our permission.
If we’re smart, we can accept it, learn how to deal with it, and eventually move on. We did with the virus. We found ways to have life and work around it. You could argue that we should be applauded for our ingenuity, creativity, gumption, and fortitude in dealing with it.
But we can do it for so many things around us. We can expand our mindset and accept things more and more without the negative reactions of fear, judgment, and worry.
Another definition for the word tolerant is the capacity to endure conditions, without adverse reaction. On this messy road that we’re on, we can expand to become both definitions of the word tolerant. We can become more accepting of the world around us and we can do it without any negative reactions. And when we can, our lives have a chance to become easier and easier.
When I think about the new plants for my garden, I will look for ones that are both heat-tolerant as well as cold-tolerant. I wonder if they expect the same of me.
Can you imagine if plants said, “I’d like an owner that is worry-tolerant and fear-tolerant. One that is open and can handle life’s ebbs and flows. One that doesn’t panic at the drop of a hat but learns how to bend easily in the wind?”
Which one of us would they chose? Which one of us is so open? Stan Lee said, “Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our hearts with tolerance.” Whether we like it or not, we’re on that path.
